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5 Crucial Ways to Simplify Self-Care and Make it Part of Your Routine

Do you find yourself wishing self-care was easier or are you natural at it?

I’m kind of in between.

On one hand, I struggle to juggle my everyday responsibilities with my own needs. On the other hand, I realize how much better I feel when I practice self-care and I even start to crave it when I go too long without it.

Does the idea of adding self-care into your routine overwhelm you? Or maybe you're finding it hard to be consistent? These 5 crucial tips will help you simplify self-care and make it easier for you to practice.

“There’s no better way to energize your body, mind, and soul than by taking care of yourself.” – Stephanie Tourles

Knowing that self-care allows me to show up as the best version of myself in every aspect of my life, I make sure to incorporate into my daily routine as much as I can.

But I also know that for me to stick with it, I need to KEEP IT SIMPLE.

If it’s overcomplicated and starts to feel like a chore, I’m the first to bolt. Are you with me on this? 🙋🏻

So today, I’m sharing 5 ways to simplify self-care to help you make it part of your daily routine.


5 Ways to Simplify Self-Care

1. Adjust your mindset around it

Do you feel guilty about practicing self-care? Or maybe you think you don’t deserve to take some “me time”? Do you think that you’ll never have the time or energy to practice self-care consistently?

“Reality is built out of thought, and our every thought begins to create reality.” – Edgar Cayce

The truth is if you don’t view self-care as necessary, then you’ll always be able to go without it no matter how stressed, overwhelmed, and exhausted you feel. The way you think about self-care dedicates the amount of priority you put on it.

Focus on why you’re practicing self-care. Think of how you want to feel and view self-care as a tool to help get you there. Maybe you feel exhausted and need to make time for rest. Maybe you feel overwhelmed and want to feel less stressed.

Try practicing affirmations to help you rewire your thoughts around self-care. Repetition is key in building new thinking patterns so you can learn to value and respect yourself through prioritizing self-care.

Read this next:How to Prioritize Self-Care And Make Time For Yourself


2. Check in with yourself

No matter how busy you are, try to take a few minutes out of your day to check in with yourself.

Some days you’re constantly running around and barely have time to take a breather. I get it. That’s why it’s important to be mindful of how we feel throughout the day.

If you can’t seem to dive into having a self-care routine right away, start viewing self-care as an intuitive practice. Just learning to be present and mindful of what your needs are throughout the day is the best way to simplify self-care.

Set a few daily reminders on your phone to remember to check in with yourself. Maybe you simply need a 5-minute break to be alone, some fresh air, or an uplifting podcast in your ears.

Here are some questions to ask yourself throughout the day:

  • How do I feel at this exact moment?
  • How are my energy levels?
  • Do I have any pain or feel any tension in my body?
  • How am I feeling about the day ahead?
  • What do I need right now to have a better day?
  • Where is my attention going right now?

Checking in with yourself helps you bring your focus back to what your needs are and helps you become more in tune with your mind and body.

Does the idea of adding self-care into your routine overwhelm you? Or maybe you're finding it hard to be consistent? These 5 crucial tips will help you simplify self-care and make it easier for you to practice.


3. Start with the essentials

When they say self-care doesn’t have to be complicated, they’re not lying.

“Self-care is not self-indulgence. Self-care is self-respect.” – Unknown

Take a moment to reflect on how you can add more physical and emotional self-care into your life without overwhelming yourself. What are your immediate needs?

Remember it’s all about you and what you need, not about what other people are doing. Start slow and when you’re ready, work your way up.

Here are some basics to take care of first:

  • Nourish your body with water & whole foods
  • Daily movement (walk, stretch, dance, take the stairs – keep it simple!)
  • Get enough sleep to feel rested
  • Take a refreshing shower
  • Get fresh air
  • Do 1 thing you enjoy (Again, keep it simple! It can be as simple as drinking a cup of coffee)


4. Focus on the joy

Self-care is about doing things that make you feel good. Nothing less, nothing more.
Whenever I think of self-care, I think of this prompt:

Write down a list of things that make you happy. Then write down a list of what you do every day. Adjust.

Doing this exercise really helps to put things in perspective. It’s crazy to think we can go the whole day without doing things that make us happy. That’s why self-care is so vital in keeping us feeling recharged and grounded.

Do the exercise above and ask yourself: what do I need to remove from or add to my day to make me feel happier?

And then go and actually do that.


5. Be flexible

Cut yourself some slack and be flexible with your self-care routine.

When I first started practicing self-care, I would get stressed about not being able to do everything on my list. I learned that not every day is going to be the same and that I’ll have to move things around to better fit my day.

If that means only spending 5 minutes at the end of my day to do something I enjoy, then I take what I can get.

A big part of self-care is giving yourself grace and not being so hard on yourself.

Read this next: How to be Easier on Yourself Through Self-Compassion


Remember: Don’t overcomplicate things for yourself. The trick in simplifying self-care is to find what works for YOU and tailoring it to fit your lifestyle.

No matter how many times things don’t go as planned, remain flexible, give yourself grace, and keep choosing to honor your feelings and needs.

Now over to you … what tips have helped you make self-care easier? Let me know in the comments below!


How to be Easier on Yourself Through Self-Compassion

Raise your hand if you’ve ever been hard on yourself. Now raise your hand if being hard on yourself has ever made you feel better.

Didn’t think so.

When has being hard on yourself ever made you feel better? Life's too short to treat yourself with anything but kindness and understanding. Here are 7 ways to be easier on yourself through self-compassion.

The truth is we’re constantly beating ourselves up and only end up feeling worse. Then why the heck do we keep doing it?!

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”- Buddha

I think it all goes back to the fact that we set unrealistic (read: impossible) standards for ourselves.

Being a perfectionist, I’m still learning and choosing every day to be easier on myself through self-compassion. I’m finally realizing that nothing is ever perfect and trying to reach that unrealistic standard is only hurting me.

By practicing self-compassion, we learn to treat ourselves with kindness, understanding, and with the awareness that we are imperfect but still worthy.

So how can you practice self-compassion? Here are 7 ways you can be easier on yourself.


7 Ways to Be Easier On Yourself Through Self-Compassion

1. Only focus on what you can control

There are so many things we can control and so many things we can’t. When we’re in the moment it’s hard to know the difference, but once we start to learn how to distinguish between the two life becomes less stressful.

A few things that we’re in full control over:

  • How we act on our feelings
  • How we show up and react to situations
  • How much time we spend worrying
  • How we talk to ourselves and others
  • Who you surround yourself with

There’s no sense in worrying about what people think of you, the past or even the long line at the grocery store. Those things are out of your control and worrying about them causes unnecessary frustration and disappointment.

When you find yourself stressing over things that are out of your control, let your shoulders drop, unclench your hands and jaw. Take a deep breathe and feel the tension release from your body. Choose instead to control how you feel about that situation that you have no control over.

Let’s focus our efforts on changing what we can and accepting what we can’t.


2. Celebrate the small wins

Every step you take to get you closer to where you want to be is worth celebrating.

However you choose to celebrate is up to you but do something! Whether you write down your accomplishments at the end of each day or take yourself out to dinner, the important thing is to become aware of the things that you did accomplish instead of beating yourself up for the things you didn’t.

Did you get all the household chores done before 11 a.m.? That’s worth celebrating! Did you go for a walk every day this week? Celebrate your heart out girl.

This helps you to really focus on the good. When you celebrate the small things, you’re acknowledging the effort you’re putting in and boosting your self-esteem.


3. Set boundaries

Are you taking on things that aren’t yours? Are you saying yes to things you hate? Are you repeatedly neglecting your own needs?

As much as you have to set boundaries with other people, you also have to set them with yourself. Make your boundaries about you because boundaries are about honoring your needs, not about worrying about what others are doing.

Take some time to reflect on where you’re spending your time and energy. Get clear on what you’re comfortable with and what you’re uncomfortable with. Figure out what’s important, what you need to let go of, and what you can do instead.

Getting clear on your boundaries allows you to practice self-compassion and self-respect.


4. Limit screen time

Social media is both a blessing and a curse.

Don’t get me wrong, I love connecting with others and seeing what my friends are up to but sometimes it’s just too much.

Too much comparison.

Too much distraction.

Too much them, not enough you.

It’s exhausting and we all need a break now and then.

Limiting screen time is the best way to make sure you’re focusing on yourself and practicing self-compassion by being gentle with yourself.

Some ways to limit screen time:

  • Make it a habit to turn off or put away all devices at the same time every night
  • Have a digital detox and delete social media apps on your phone for a day
  • Put your phone on airplane mode when you’re doing important things like spending time with family

Read this next: 6 Mindsets We Need to Let Go to Make Room For Growth


5. Check your self-talk

Would you talk to your mother, daughter, or best friend the way you talk to yourself?

If the answer is no, then start being more mindful of how you’re speaking to yourself. Your words are powerful and even more when they’re directed towards yourself.

If you catch yourself speaking harshly to yourself, don’t beat yourself up over it either. Instead when you catch yourself saying things like “I’m so dumb…” add a buffer on the end like “…is what I used to tell myself.” Recognize it, reframe it and move on.

Being easier on yourself starts with taking the steps to think of yourself in a more positive light.


6. Make time for stress-relief activities

When’s the last time you actually made time for yourself to do things that help you de-stress?

In a world that stresses hustle, we’re so used to doing more and more in order to succeed.

Rest is viewed as a sign of weakness, but really, rest is SO necessary. How can you show up as the best version of yourself if you’re constantly tired and stress-out?

Making time to do things that help you unwind and get back to your happy place is essential in treating yourself with love and compassion.

Read this next: How to Prioritize Self-Care And Make Time For Yourself


7. Reevaluate priorities

Do you have an area of your life that needs a breather?

When I don’t have my priorities straight, I tend to get overwhelmed. I freak about how there’s always so much to do and such little time and end up pushing myself to my limits to the point that I feel even more exhausted and stressed out.

Sometimes it’s okay to take a step back, take a break and refocus in order to come back stronger.

  • If you have a big work project due this week, what can you let go of to make sure your stress levels don’t shoot up?
  • If you’re in the process of moving, what commitments do you need to rearrange to make your transition more manageable?
  • If you’re feeling burnt out from your passion project, what can you do to recharge and get back into focus?

Check in with yourself constantly and stay flexible with your methods. Reminding yourself that you can do anything but not everything is the ultimate act of practicing self-compassion.


Next time you find yourself obsessively pushing yourself, focusing on things you can’t control, being hard on yourself, or beating yourself up for something you did, ask yourself if you would treat someone you love the same way.

Be gentle with yourself, remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can, and keep moving forward.

Now over to you… what are some ways that you practice self-compassion? Let me know in the comments below!


5 Simple Mindset Shifts to Make Exercise And Healthy Eating Easier

When it comes to eating healthy and exercising, I’ve struggled with consistency and I’m sure you have too.

I’ll say I’ll go to the gym, eat healthy, take my vitamins, AND try to make sure everything else in my life runs smoothly until I suddenly realize that my health routine is put on the back burner. Does this happen to you?

When we’ve been bombarded with too many lose-weight-fast scams and unrealistic fitness standards for the entirety of our lives, it’s no wonder our mindset around health and wellness makes it even harder to stay consistent.

To be consistent with a healthy lifestyle and create real change, we have to first adjust the way we think about eating healthy and exercise. Here are 5 simple ways to shift your mindset to make healthy living easier.

For me, everything comes down to mindset these days.

When making a lifestyle change, the problem is that we take action to make a change but yet our mindset remains the same.

“To change your life, you have to change yourself. To change yourself, you have to change your mindset.” – Wilson Kanadi

In order to see real change and be consistent with the changes we’re making, we have to first adjust the way we think about healthy eating and exercise.

Whether you struggle with consistency or just want to feel better about your new habits, here are 5 simple mindset shifts to help you make healthy living easier so you can take better care of yourself.


5 Mindset Shifts to Make Exercise & Healthy Eating Easier


1. I want to work out and eat healthy

Old mindset: I have to work out and eat healthy

If we have to do something, we automatically categorize it in our heads as a chore.

And no one wants to do chores, right?

When we don’t want to do something, it usually ends up at the end of our to-do list. And even if we do make the time for it, we only do it to get it over with and dread the next time we “have to” do it.

That’s why we often find ourselves saying “I don’t have time” but in reality, we could make the time if we saw it as a priority.

Everyone’s circumstance is different but I guarantee you can make it work even if you have to shift things around in order for your new habits to fit your lifestyle. For example, if you’re a mom with little ones you can find an at-home exercise program to do while they nap or play.

If you feel like you’re lying when you say you want to do things, try remembering your why. Why do you want to eat healthy? Maybe you’re tired of having an upset stomach and want to feel better.

Why do you want to work out? Maybe you want to have more energy to play with your kids. Remember your why and let it fuel you into you wanting to live healthier.

Shifting your mindset from having to do it to wanting to do it will help you find the motivation you need to get it done.

Shifting your mindset from having to live a healthier life to wanting to will help you find the motivation you need to get it done. Click To Tweet


2. I work out to feel better

Old mindset: I have to work out to look like her

Daily movement is amazing for your body. Simply going for a 10-minute walk around your neighborhood can do wonders for not only your body, but your mind too.

So instead of focusing on wanting to look like the fitness models, focus on feeling better. Focus on how much energy you’ll have, the positive shift in your mood, how strong you’ll become and how great you’ll sleep.

When I first started working out I was obsessed with trying to look like the people I followed on Instagram. Now I realize how damaging that was for my self-esteem and how unrealistic it was.

Exercise and movement lost it’s magic because I was so focused on trying to obsessively change my body instead of appreciating it and celebrating it.

Mindset shifts to make healthy living easier

Exercise and movement lost it’s magic because I was so focused on trying to obsessively change my body instead of appreciating it and celebrating it. Click To Tweet

Sure, your body will probably change with consistent exercise but when you view that change as a PLUS instead of must-have, daily movement becomes that much more enjoyable (and heck, you might even start to crave it!)

Remember, you can’t compare someone else’s middle with your beginning and you’ll sure as hell never feel happy or motivated if your sole reason is to look like other women.

Read this next: 9 Body-Positive Reasons to Exercise That Have Nothing To Do With Appearance


3. Healthy living is about balance

Old mindset: I need to be perfect and can’t miss a day

Let’s ditch the mindset that healthy living has to be all-or-nothing.

It can be whatever you need it to be so it fits in with your lifestyle. If that looks like going to the gym just two times a week or eating out on weekends, then so be it. You don’t have to be perfect to lead a healthy lifestyle – in fact, you shouldn’t be.

When you don’t let yourself flow and you try to control everything to force it into perfection, you create a trap for failure. Because we’re human and we’re not perfect.

Some days you’re going to feel like you have it all together and other days you’ll feel like it’s all falling apart. You need to be prepared for both kind of days even if that means letting go of the reins and letting things flow.

View your healthy living lifestyle as a journey, treat your body with love, and remind yourself that it’s about nourishment, not punishment.

Read this next: 3 Steps to Creating Balance in Your Health and Fitness Routine


4. I choose foods based on ingredients and that make me feel good

Old mindset: How many calories are in this?

Doesn’t the new mindset sound so much better?

Start viewing eating as a way to nourish your body with the nutrients it needs. Eating isn’t supposed to be restrictive or a way to punish yourself.

When you eat from a place of compassion, it helps you be gentler with yourself and allows you to shift your mindset to make healthy living easier.

Instead of focusing on how many calories are in something, start checking the ingredients and choosing foods that make you physically feel good. Instead of cutting down your portions because “too many calories”, try eating to satisfy. Focus on quality over quantity, go by the rule: the fewer ingredients the better.

The great thing is that when you eat whole foods like animal protein, vegetables, and fruits, there are no ingredients to worry about. Here’s a great article on how to transition from counting calories to checking your ingredients.

Gone are the days that I check calories or count my macros. You know why they don’t work? Because they’re restrictive and they’re not sustainable.

And if you go over the calories or macros that you’re “supposed” to have, you start to freak out. When you stress out over food, you create a negative relationship with it. And a negative relationship with food is what we don’t want.

5 Simple Mindset Shifts to Make Exercise And Eating Healthy Easier Click To Tweet


5. My health routine is unique and mine alone

Old mindset: I’ll never be able to do what they do

Everyone’s healthy living journey is different.

Just because Jana down the street runs 4 miles and drinks a protein smoothie for breakfast every morning, doesn’t mean that you have to.

Trying to do things that are “trending” just because everyone else is doing it is a surefire way to lose steam quick.

You’ll have to experiment a bit to find something that does work for you and even when you do find it, be flexible with your methods and have a back-up plan

So find an exercise you love and makes you feel excited. Find food that you love that makes your body (and mind) feel good. Do more of what is working and trash the rest.

When you shut out all the noise and really start to focus on yourself, creating a sustainable  healthy living routine that fits your lifestyle becomes that much easier.


Just like with anything new, learning how to shift your mindset is a process. Take it slow. Set short-term goals. Give yourself grace and breathe through it all.

It might be a choice we have to make daily, but one thing is for sure – we will get up and try again.

Now over to you… what shift will you dedicate to implementing this month? Let me know in the comments below!


6 Things We Need to Let Go to Make Room For Growth

Sometimes we get so caught up in what we want more of in life, that we forget to reflect on what we need less of.

More travel.

More success.

More money.

More passion.

More joy.

In order to get more out of life we have to release things that no longer serve us. When we release negative feelings, we make room for better things to enter our lives. Here are 5 things we need to let go of to make room for growth.

What we don’t realize is that to truly grow and receive those things we want, we need to make room for them by letting go of things that no longer serve us. There are certain mindsets that clutter our mind and hold us back from living life to our potential.

“When you let go, you create space for better things to enter your life.” – Unknown

When you let go of the past and thoughts that bring you down, you create space for acceptance, learning, and growth.

As much of a self-development junkie as I am, I still struggle to conquer thoughts that hold me back. I won’t always have the right answer, decision, or reaction – but by simply trying I’m already taking the steps to making room for better things in my life.

Today I’m sharing with you 5 mindsets that we need to let go of to make room for growth and better things to come.


Things We Need to Let Go of in Order to Grow


1. Fear of getting out of our comfort zone

Who else loves their cozy, little comfort zone? Right there with ya.

As humans, we crave comfort. It’s our little bubble where we can relax without stress or unexpected circumstances.

There’s nothing wrong with being in your comfort zone – until it starts holding you back from challenging yourself and trying things that make you uncomfortable. We tend to run from things that will help us grow without even realizing it.

“Always go with the choice that scares you the most because that’s the one that’s going to help you grow.” – Caroline Myss

As much as I love my comfort zone, I realized that it was holding me back from becoming the best version of myself. So this year, I decided to make one of my intentions to feel the fear and do that thing anyway.

Next time you’re faced with a decision, try to think about what your 90-year-old self would do. Would they stay in their comfort zone and let the fear paralyze them and or would they take the risk that can bring 100 new opportunities to them?


2. Resentments from the past

Growing up I always held my resentments and negative feelings in. I found it easier to shut down than to confront people about what I felt.

What I’ve learned is that holding onto past grudges only hurts you, not them. Dwelling on the past doesn’t allow us to move forward and make space for bigger and better feelings.

“Resentments are like swallowing poison and expecting the other people to die.” – Nelson Mandela

When you keep repeating those resentments over and over in your head, you’re exposing yourself to those negative feelings all over again.

The best thing to do so you can move on is to forgive people for hurting you – not for them but for you. The grudge that you carry is only affecting you. Don’t give them that power over you. Learn to let go to give yourself that closure.

Let go of these 5 things to make room for growth in your life Click To Tweet


3. Negativity that consumes you

As humans, we can’t completely avoid feeling negative emotions. But we do have control over our thoughts, what we tune into, and how much we let them affect us.

Step one in getting control of negative thoughts is to practice positive self-talk. I wrote a whole blog post on how to do that here.

When you practice positive self-talk, you become aware of your thoughts and put a positive spin on what you feel. Complaints turn to gratitude, criticism turns to praise and self-doubt turns to confidence.

Positive self-talk is a HUGE player in how happy, confident and motivated you feel towards life.

You can also be selective of what you tune into. For example, if you’re constantly watching or listening to horror stories or fear-based news you tend to unintentionally reflect those emotions in your reality.

Choose to surround yourself with positivity so you can move through and conquer the negative thoughts when they arrive.

In order to get more out of life we have to release things that no longer serve us. When we release negative feelings, we make room for better things to enter our lives. Here are 5 things we need to let go of to make room for growth.


4. Feeling guilt or shame

As much as we need to forgive others for their wrongdoings, we also need to forgive ourselves. Carrying regret around hurts your self-esteem and confidence

We all have things that we regret, things that we don’t like talking about, and things that make us want to turn back the clock to get a do-over.

But we have to remember that we’re so much more than our imperfections.

The truth is that we all mess up. There is no sense in beating yourself up for the past. Take the steps necessary for you to forgive yourself. Turn inwards and understand why you feel guilty.
Write it out or talk it out to gain a new perspective, accept it for what it is, and find that compassion for yourself. If it involves another person, make amends if you have to.

Start seeing the relationship with yourself as the most important relationship in your life and take that experience as a valuable lesson moving forward.

Read this next: How to Get The Most Out of Journaling to Become More in Tune With Yourself



5. Thinking making time for yourself is selfish

Being busy is unavoidable sometimes. But you shouldn’t wear busy as a badge of honor. When you think you’re too busy to rest, you tend to neglect yourself and often feel even more stressed and overwhelmed.

Whether it’s not getting enough sleep, declining social invitations, or working 12-hour days, being too busy, all the time, is a sign that your life is out of balance.

That’s why self-care is not selfish, it’s absolutely necessary.

“An empty lantern provides no light. Self-care is the fuel that allows your light to shine brightly.” – Unknown

Make time for not only rest but things that light you up. Life isn’t made to work, work, work and pay bills. It’s made to be enjoyed. Create a life that excites you by doing things you love instead of constantly gasping for air in the midst of how busy you are.

You have to take care of yourself first so that you can give your best to the world.

Read this next: 12 Simple Self-Care Tips and Ideas for a Healthy Life


6. Comparing yourself to others

Thanks to social media, these days it’s so common for us to compare our reality to other people’s highlight reels. We tend to forget that what we’re seeing is only scratching the surface of what people choose to put out there. We have no idea what their reality really looks like.

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” – Theodore Roosevelt

A few ways to shift your mindset away from comparison:

  • Make a list of all the things you have accomplished in life, big or small.
  • Make note of the discomfort you feel when you compare yourself to others. Recognize that feeling and then make a choice to let it go and choose positive thoughts.
  • If somebody else has something you want, use it as inspiration to work towards that goal. Since somebody in your circle has it, get excited because it’s getting closer and closer to you.

Comparing our lives to other people’s lives distract us. When you make a conscious effort to stop wastime time comparing, you bring the focus back to yourself and give yourself time for learning and growing.


Letting go of mindsets that don’t help you grow is a journey. It will often be a choice you have to make daily – but every time you make that choice, you come back a little bit stronger.

Once you learn to recognize what you need to let go of in order to grow, you start to create space for the bigger and better things that life has in store for you.

Now over to you … what mindsets have you let go to help you grow? Let me know in the comments below!


How to Practice Positive Self-Talk to Feel Happy And Confident (+ FREE Self-Love Workbook)

You know that negative, nagging little voice inside your head? Let’s put it in its place, yeah?

The next time you’re getting ready for work, preparing for a big presentation, or heck – just even making breakfast, take a second to actually listen to what thoughts are going through your head. Do your thoughts build you up or tear you down?

When you listen to the inner monologue inside your head, you may be surprised at how hard on yourself you can be.

The way we talk to ourselves makes a huge impact on how we feel about ourselves and our lives. Here are 5 ways to overcome the negative voice inside your head and practice positive self-talk daily.

It may seem trivial, but the reality is that what we say (think) to ourselves matter. Getting to a place of joy and optimism requires that we work on the thoughts that we repeat in our heads 24/7. If we’re constantly talking down to ourselves, how can we ever become the best version of ourselves?

Whatever you believe about yourself on the inside is what you will manifest on the outside.”– Unknown

One of the ways to remove doubts and negativity is to intentionally practice positive self-talk. While completely removing negative thoughts isn’t realistic, we should know how to reframe those thoughts to help boost self-awareness, confidence, and self-belief.

Here are a few ways to finally get a grip on that nagging voice and help you practice positive self-talk.

To make it even easier and help positive self-talk come naturally to you, I created a FREE Self-Love workbook with positive self-talk exercises to help you see your worth and think more positively about yourself. Download it below!



What is positive self-talk?

Positive self-talk promotes positivity throughout our daily inner thoughts. When we practice it, it makes a huge difference in how we feel about ourselves, other people, and life’s circumstances.

On the other hand, our inner critic is the opposite of positive self-talk. It’s always looking to judge and criticize us and tends to always pick at everything that may be going wrong. To our inner critic, we’ll never be good enough and we’ll always have a reason to doubt ourselves.


The importance of positive self-talk

Thanks to our inner critic, we tend to focus on our weaknesses and the negatives. When we don’t speak to ourselves with kindness, our self-esteem suffers. If you’re constantly telling a child that they’re not good enough they’ll believe it. The same thing happens with your own thoughts. The more you repeat something, the more you’ll start to believe it.

When we speak to ourselves with compassion and love our confidence rises, we become happier, and are able to navigate stress easier. Positive self-talk helps us believe in ourselves, do better, and keep moving forward.

“Self-talk is the most powerful form of communication because it either empowers you or it defeats you.” – Unknown


How to practice positive self-talk


1. Bring awareness to your thoughts

When I first started paying attention to what was going on in my head, I was pretty amazed at how much I say to myself without even noticing. It’s like we say things to ourselves out of habit and our subconscious just processes it.

I tend to be in my head a lot so to make sure I’m actually paying attention, I take moments to breathe, slow down, and process what I’m thinking about. It may help to keep a journal so you can keep track of your thought patterns.

Listen for words like “always” and “never” that indicate a thought that you’ve had for a while.

The first step in reframing your thoughts is to listen and be aware of them so you can better understand them.

Read this next: How to Get The Most Out of Journaling to Become More In Tune With Yourself


2. Challenge your beliefs

Remember, not all your thoughts are true. Create a space between you and your reaction. Don’t just accept what you think just because your mind goes there – your thoughts don’t define you. Try to make it a habit to replace criticism with praise.

Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.”– Henry Ford

Start to see self-talk as a way to bring awareness to why you’re speaking harshly to yourself. Maybe you made a mistake at work and all you can do is beat yourself up. Challenge your thinking.

  • Why is your mind going to that place?
  • Is what you’re saying 100% true? (hint: no!)
  • How does the thought make you feel?
  • How would you feel if you didn’t have this thought?
  • What can you choose to think to go towards that positive feeling?

If you have a hard time believing the positive, start by being realistic with yourself and being neutral. Remind yourself that setbacks and mistakes are normal, and reflect on what you can improve on the next time around.

How to Practice Positive Self-Talk to Feel Happy & Confident Click To Tweet


3. Choose one thought over another

When you bring awareness to your thoughts, you’re able to notice patterns in your thinking. Often, you’re able to pick up triggers that make you anxious and provoke negative thoughts.

To avoid a downhill spiral of negativity, you can start by disrupting old thought patterns. Choose to put a positive spin on a challenge you’re facing.

  • I get mad at everything turns to: I’m in full control of my emotions and I am calm and patient in every situation.
  • I’m no good at this turns to: What am I missing? I’ll tackle it from a different angle
  • I never do anything right turns to: I am powerful and can do anything I set my mind to. What can I do to get this right?
  • I never catch a break turns to: There are so many good things in my life and I’m grateful for the lessons I’m learning right now.

Be aware of the negative thought, then choose to change your perspective on it to shift it into a more positive one.

Read this next: How to Start Your Day With a Positive Mindset


4. Check your environment

Your environment can have a big impact on the way you talk to yourself. How are you supposed to practice positive self-talk when you’re constantly being reminded of the negativity that surrounds you?

Some easy ways to check the energy that your environment brings you:

  • Cut back on tuning into fear-based news, TV, talk shows, etc.
  • Clear the clutter in your house (clear space = clear mind)
  • Surround yourself with people who motivate and support you

I know a lot of the time separating ourselves from negativity completely is out of our control. Some of us work in a toxic environment, while others have close friends and family that are negative.

When you don’t have control over your environment, the best thing to do is to be mentally prepared to not let their negativity affect you. Positive energy will always trump negative energy. Lead by example and remind yourself that you have the power to choose what thoughts you let in.

Read this next: 12 Tips on How to Make The Most of Every Day


5. Practice it daily

The truth is that we all feel negative emotions no matter how hard we try not to. Practicing positive self-talk doesn’t mean a negative thought won’t ever cross your mind again– it means you will be able to recognize it, move through it, and conquer it much easier.

Practicing positive self-talk doesn’t mean a negative thought won’t ever cross your mind again – it means you will be able to recognize it, move through it, and conquer it much easier. Click To Tweet

Remember we’ve been talking to ourselves a certain way our whole lives. The negative recurring thoughts that affect us emotionally are there because you repeated and repeated them to yourself and they became beliefs that you accepted as true.

You can use that same thought process to create positive self-talk and beliefs. Even if you don’t believe it right away, by repeating and repeating positive thoughts, you develop a gentler and kinder way to talk to yourself.


Recognizing that our thoughts have so much power over how we feel is the first step in getting to a happier place. Once we learn to listen to our thoughts and make the necessary changes so that they don’t negatively affect us, the good moments become even better and the challenges seem that much easier to navigate.

Don’t forget your free workbook before you go!

Now over to you … did you know how powerful your self-talk is? What do you do keep the negative thoughts in check?